I’ve always tried to keep things simple. You could say that my gift to the world was to simplify the many things we’ve made so complicated. When a family member or a friend had trouble with one of their gizmos, gadgets and whatnots, I’m usually the one that fields the call. Most of the time I can decipher where their problem is and explain the solution clearly and generally quickly—it really all depends on how well they listen.
Imagine how difficult it must be for me now to relay the events of the past few months to you, as they have been anything but simple.
I’m sure you’ve heard by now that I am somehow responsible for the giant purple ‘hole’ in the sky that now looms over Denver or the strange glowing orbs now present all around the Flatirons. Though I will explain these phenomenons, I can assure you that neither was directly caused by me. The strange reports of the creature now referred to as “The Gravel Man” are, I assure you, greatly overstated and not at all indicative of the truth—though I’m sure the gentleman in question would find his new moniker not only amusing but oddly fitting. One day, when your children are telling bedtime stories to their children, I believe that my name will no longer be mentioned alongside the tales of Green Cavern, the inhabitants of the abandoned silver mine or the disappearance of the corner antique shop on Pearl Street. You haven’t heard the one about Pearl Street? Though I’ll explain it further in the course of my defense, I can tell you that when the Barbonez Antique Shoppe vanished from Pearl Street, the remaining hole was more than adequate payment in the exchange. The widow Barbonez literally made off like a bandit in this particular deal—all parties were more than satisfied.
I suppose that if you have the time, I should start at the beginning and not stop until I reach the end. After all, you are the only brave enough to visit me in this time where most fear what oddity or trouble may be close at my heels. Perhaps it is fitting that you carry my tale to the rest of the world as I have long since lost any credibility earned, loaned or otherwise purchased.
If you’re ready, I’ll begin...
Another experimental piece I'm considering fleshing out into a full-blow story. If you think it has merit and should continue, please leave comments to that effect below.