Skip to main content

Looking for a good wrench...

Something is wrong with me. I no longer seem able to reconcile every aspect of my tidy and organized life. Somewhere, somehow, someone or something has sabotaged the simple order of my world. I'm not sure exactly when I first noticed it but things aren't working the way they're supposed to anymore. The many pieces of my life no longer fit together as perfectly as they once did. Like an old clockwork, some of my favorite excuses are worn and missing teeth. New components I thought could replace old or missing ones don't fit quite as they should and the idea of adding new machinations to the delicate balance of my routine fill me with dread. For someone who's prided himself on a deep self understanding, these latest malfunctions are quite alarming—there has to be a clearly defined point of corruption.

Perhaps it's my relationships? We all know that getting married can change things. Maybe I married prematurely? What if I married the wrong person? Is there such a thing as the right person? I suppose I could get caught up in this loop for a while but I fear it is nothing but a wild goose chase. You see, the order of my world was beginning to show signs of decay long before I met my wife. In fact, thinking on it more now, I believe that it was my marriage (a new, more powerful and complex mechanism designed to replace my bachelor systems) that made it possible to support the children peripherals I'd always wanted. Some may argue that my core systems were not designed to support the family component—the additional load forcing me to route energy to either the original or the new family system but not both at the same time. To be honest, I think there was quite a lot of energy wasted before starting up my family. The amount of effort used now is much more focused and efficient. My life hasn't changed. Instead of fewer and older cogs and gears, I have newer more efficient systems in place to help me continue doing things my way.

I think that the malfunctions are being caused by an external force acting on the system. Could it be that I'm simply not investing enough time maintaining my routines? Is the very attempt to try and run a machine (which has changed over the years) as if no modifications were made causing these breakdowns? Perhaps it is simply time aging and wearing on things? What if there is no malfunction at all but simply my inability to accept that my life has changed? That would explain a lot of things. I suppose I'm not a 12-year-old boy any more. If I could allow myself to see that there's more to each day than video games and comic books...

No. That's not it at all.

Somewhere, there's a saboteur missing a good wrench.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Story Problems and Escape Pods

This is a continuation of a previous post. If you'd like to read it first, click here.

Danny managed to sit in his seat just as the last bell in the school chimed. He barely avoided another tardy by bolting down the hall while ducking under the little windows in every classroom door. His dad had dropped his mother and sister off first before driving like a crazy person to get him to school. Like a scene straight out of an action film, the van had rocked back and forth it dodged cars, swung around corners and squealed tires. When his father skidded up to the school, he yelled, “GO! GO! GO!”

"Danny run!" shouted Molly from the school's main door. Molly was Danny's best friend and the one always helping to keep him out of trouble. "You'll be late again if you don't hurry!" Danny turned to say goodbye to his dad but the van was already screeching around the corner and headed out of sight. Quickly he started running toward Molly. She waved him down the…

The Light

The Light By Nabih Saliba
I light the path for all to see They shall not trip because of me How great I am that darkness flee I do all this without a fee
And so it went each night for lamp Who proudly thought itself a champ But then one evening came a tramp His clothes were worn, and torn, and damp
He staggered left, he stumbled right He should not try to walk at night The drunkard fell into the light Thrown from the lamp with disdain bright
Why should I help this man below? He’s far beneath me don’t you know His lesser breeding clearly show This beggar can’t deserve my glow
And so the lamp let darkness fall On he who lay there in a ball As shadows grew both thin and tall The lamp stood off for one and all
Then suddenly the night time fled

It's Prime Time

In the interest of full disclosure, I am an Amazon Affiliate. This means that I might make a tiny bit of money when products and services I recommend actually drive people to Amazon and make a purchase. That being said, it doesn't happen enough to afford me a cup of coffee but I'm enough of a fan that I keep spreading the good word anyway. Truth is, I recommend the company whenever I can simply because it's rapidly becoming indispensable in the quest to have more stuff.

What a remarkable world we're now living in! I can find some of the most esoteric, random things anywhere on the planet and, with the click of a button, have it arrive at my doorstep in around three days. Stop and think about that for a moment. In some cases, that delivery time can be within the hour. Amazon has done quite a bit to change the way we think about shopping. They have largely changed the way we behave as consumers and radically shifted customer expectations in ways too numerous to get into…